Living Vicariously #SITG

Somewhere on Soulshine, in the next 24 hours or so, a fuzzy-faced, bleary eyed reviewer is going to squeeze what functionality remains in their brain synapses and gift us with a review of Splendour. It’ll be great. However, for those of us who didn’t make it to Splendour, there’s an alternative. Let’s relive the joy, the excitement, the sheer unbridled FURY of reading Twitter updates instead of going to the festival.

Most of us had good excuses. We didn’t get tickets. We couldn’t afford tickets. The boss is a bastard and wouldn’t give us time off work. We’d already maxed out our gastro / flu / dead relative / bomb scare quota. In my case, there was a tiny little person who isn’t yet Splendour-friendly to take care of.

Ooh nice segue.

5sprocket Pixies fuuuuck yes #sitg  4:22 PM Aug 1st via TweetDeck

Modern journalism isn’t what it used to be. In the old days, it used to be about BEING THERE and BEING FIRST. Correspondents were encamped in war zones, flanked by several members of the armed forces and in rather impressive bullet-proof vests. Some even got shot: usually due to forgetting that getting shot is what happens in war zones, and until a bullet-proof Snuggie becomes available, they need to stay out of the crossfire.

Thanks to modern technology, though, getting shot is a thing of the past (ok, I accept I need to leave that particular example behind, as I’m not sure I can really tie it into Splendour). That’s right: you can keep the boss happy, save your money, and keep a dead relative in the bank for future use.. simply by living the festival through others.

I bring you #SITG.

From the sublime:

Boonsworth Splendour 'til yo' dick fall off. @SITG  10:36 PM Aug 1st 

To the delighted consensus:

Bsharp Still in awe if how amazingly awesome Florence & The Machine were last night! #SITG  8:15 AM Aug 1st

KathrynOBrien  Blown away (again) by Florence and her machine. Brilliant!! A top night Splendour, thanks! #sitg  1:56 AM Aug 1st

Iusebiro  Florence and the Machine were just amazing. So dramatic. <3 #sitg  11:40 PM Jul 31st

The plain unusual:

spoonerist  Mysterious rash on my arm. Thanks, #sitg.  4:52 PM Aug 2nd

To Richard Ashcroft’s hissy fit:

Makethingshapen Seriously, he played one song & then left... As did the band ... Standing here looking at an empty stage oh dear. #SITG  10:17 PM Aug 1st

Umasfeet maybe ashcrofts drugs don't work, they just made him worse #sitg #splendour  11:15 PM Aug 1st

Mikeonthemic Richard Ashcroft didn't storm off, he was just beating the traffic. #splendour #sitg #gianttrafficclusterfuck  10:28 AM Aug 2nd

To the outgoing traffic jam:

Josstheboss Seventeen cars every ten mins. Approx Ten thousand cars. You do the math. #splendour #sitg  10:04 AM Aug 2nd

Tsymun splendour in the STUCK IN FUCKING TRAFFIC SOMEONE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE. #sitg  10:02 AM Aug 2nd

I’ll be kind and omit the many drug references, the naked man (men?) and the proud campsite photos. Oh go on, just one camp site photo: http://yfrog.com/5xbjdj

And we’re done. All in all, the punters seemed to love the site, hate the traffic, and want to marry Florence. Now to sit back and await the verdict of the Woodford folk.  Although perhaps the farmers’ verdict is already in.

Mattieryan Paddock exit. Brilliant. Sorry farmers! #sitg #splendour

 10:47 AM Aug 2nd