Sia - We Are Born

Adelaide's pop sensation Sia is due to release her fifth album 'We Are Born' shortly, featuring the radio friendly single 'Clap Your Hands.' Billed as the album that Sia Furler has always wanted to make, it's a varied album firmly rooted in current pop.

Having a backpack full of preconceived notions of Sia before hearing 'We Are Born' isn't a great place to come from if you're to make an attempt at giving it a serious review. Thus, I laughed about the fact that we hosted a Sia article, thought it actually was a joke, and then realised it wasn't when I got asked to review it (albeit, through the teeth of an Editor with his tongue planted in his cheek.) I wasn't happy about that. I didn't want to listen to this, let alone listen to it enough times to write about it. But hey, I try to keep an open mind with this sort of thing. I can grow as a person and maybe grow to enjoy it right? I mean, I reviewed an Aussie Hip-Hop album last week and really liked it, so surely that could translate to Sia's new album?

Right? Anyone? 

Okay, so you're not convinced (as in, I'm imagining you're not convinced for the purposes of this article, and thus imagining that you actually give a shit about my opinion.) If you're stuck for time and can't be bothered reading all this, then leave now knowing that 'We Are Born' is a sign of everything that's wrong with Triple J for choosing to play this on high rotation and possibly even the entire music industry.

If you're still here, then I've got to admit that it's not total junk. It's a great effort from an Australian artist and I think I might have heard something in there once that sounded okay. There are a few cool guitar lines hidden within 'The Fight' and 'Stop Trying' in particular. You know, 'Never Gonna Leave Me' is almost okay even. For real. It's actually not super different to how Florence and the Machine gets away with credible pop music. However, if Sia wasn't so nice to look at in that publicity shot where she's roaring like a tiger and wasn't Australian I would choose to use this album as a frisbee. That is, I would use it as a frisbee if it wasn't submitted to us as a digital download. The digital age is ruining all the good metaphors.

'We Are Born' is a collection of 10 tracks that exactly shadows your modern day, run of the mill, Britney Aguilera-Knowles crap played incessantly at the local Supre. It paints a picture of mini-skirts and puffa jackets with imitation fur necks, glittered lip gloss and, well...music that doesn't belong anywhere near where it has somehow found an audience. I really don't understand the marketing push behind this album. Somehow, it's being submitted to music websites like this one, and finding its way onto Triple J. Sia has done a stack of co-writing with Christina Aguilera (with vocal moments like those on 'Be Good To Me' demonstrating that influence) and has appeared on Channel Ten's Rove. Further, this album was produced by a guy who produced a Kesha (that 's' is supposed to be a dollar sign which isn't even a joke) and a Britney Spears record. That is ALL the research I did for this review aside from listening to it and that'll do me. Sure, we've got standards here too, but if Triple J doesn't have the standards to actually listen to what they play, then I don't need to apply my usual standards to write an informed article. 

The fact of the matter is that this album and artist doesn't belong on this website. It doesn't belong anywhere but in the halls of NOVA, Home and Away or Channel Ten's Rove. It's absolutely mind boggling that it ever went anywhere near Triple J and highlights what drives me nuts about their direction and push for ratings at the sacrifice of quality. This is an album that I should never have heard of aside from my occasional foray to a shopping mall, or maybe a taxi driver's radio...but, inexplicably, it is being pushed in the most improbable, unlikely and blasphemously ridiculous places. It hurts me that I had to listen to it and it hurts me even more to write bad things about it, because bad reviews do absolutely nothing for anyone. I don't want to hurt Sia's feelings or make her think I'm a dick. I don't want Inertia Records to see me bag out one of their artists. This review doesn't do them any good, and it certainly won't help our website or my own reputation...but fuck, if you're here on Soulshine and reading this, then surely you don't like it.  You can't like it. It's so uncool man. Tear a hole in the knee of your jeans and don't listen to it. 

To put it nicely, I really don't like 'We Are Born.' It stinks. Like old pot pourri. But even old ladies and pregnant women like pot pourri, and for what it is (POP pourri) it's quite good. This could totally be an awesome Christina Aguilera CD that I could totally play to my boyfriend for the duration of our totally sweet two week relationship while I decide if I'm ready to lose my virginity or not. It's very good for what it is, yes. But I hate it.

Sia's 'We Are Born' is out on the 7th of June on Monkey Puzzle through Inertia.